Jevon's name has been dropped more in this blog than any other. I mention him almost as much as I mention myself- divided by 17.
Some of you probably know Jevon... and for those of you who do, you may or may not know that he turned 25 last week. Jevon (or Jevin, as I like to call him) is a curious fellow. We first met outside Ridge View Elementary, where he sprayed me with water- because that's what you do when you meet someone, I guess.
The water spraying incident was in fifth grade, though Jevin and I didn't become 'friends' until about a year after that, toward the end of sixth grade. As I remember it (and I could be slightly deluded), I was cool, and Jevin was not, and he wanted to usurp my popularity and infest his way into my group of friends. He did this within about four days. Gone were the JCP sweater vests he was so fond of, replaced by button-ups, ECKO, and this one white shirt with blue and green lettering... I think it was made by a rapper of some sort... I'm blanking on the name now.
Found the shirt! Enyce. Is that a rapper?
Jevin, in middle school, high school and beyond- was a very likable guy. He was nice to everyone (at least to their faces...) and was fairly jovial (that means happy, J) at any given time. He had lots of friends and used this to his full advantage. One time at the fair, Jevin decided that we should play a game. We would stand together in front of the ride area and count how many people said, "Hi!" to us. We could not say 'hi' first, as to not accost friendly-attention-starved strangers who'd say 'hi' to anyone. It had to be actual people who knew us, who liked us enough to acknowledge our existence. And, truth be told, he won like, 45-7. And those 7 that said 'hi' to me? Yeah, they pretty much just used their hellos as a way to talk to Jevon. "Hey Liz... how's your summer go- oh, what up Jevon? How ya doin' man?"
It was so depressing.
While Jevin was sometimes a very sweet boy, he was also quite intelligent (aka: manipulative). He'd come over to my house weekly to burn himself some new tunes. The music Jevin listened to... oh, God. It was awful, for the most part, and I'm sure he listens to the same stuff now. He'd name the CD's 'Liz 1', 'Liz 2', and if I do recall I'm pretty sure 'Liz 3' was burned to rave reviews. He named them this because he made them at my house, right? Wrong.
Once, Bobby (his dad) decided to move the 'Stang, and when he started it the speakers blasted with derogatory shouting, swearing, and malice all laid nicely over a hip hop beat. He ejected the CD. "JEVON! YOU DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS MUSIC LIZ MAKES FOR YOU ANYMORE!"
This wasn't the only time I unknowingly took the fall for him. One time when I drove his drunk ass home (from my house, he literally couldn't walk the 1/4 mile), he and Paul were throwing up in the front yard. The next morning, when Suz asked what the noise was, J told her I had food poisoning, and for some reason wandered over to their house to express it...
And, I'm sure he's thrown me under the bus many other times, I've probably just blocked them out- or am still unaware.
Tackling me.
If everyone has a 'thing', like, being the drunk girl, or being that guy, Jevin's 'thing' would be giving people nicknames, like: Booze (Me, though he didn't create this one he did help perpetuate it), Nana (me)**, Mary Boolig (me :( ), Beuze (me, again.), Big Ash (Ashley), Diamond (Ashley), Steak (Ashley- hahaahah), Big Head (Kaylee), Rhonda (Kaylee), McDonalds (Kaylee), Crazette (Kaylee- and I still think this one is super stupid), Cow (Kaylee's brother, who, actually, is quite thin...) Rosemary (Bonnie... something about Shallow Hal), Boner (Bonnie :( ), Saltine (John- because he was a "skinny, white cracker"), NH/Nerd Herd (John), Nogger (Paul- because he had a big head and Big Head was taken), Maci (Megan), Neibs (Megan), Big Red (Erica), Gay (Erica), Chester (Lawrence- rhymes with molester...), Jurass (Justin), Scaaaatt (Scott), My Man (Omar), The Oven (Kyle), Boot (Caitlin), Dad (Shaun), and while I can think of many more, they're for the most part derogatory and not fit for this forum.
*bolded entries are nicknames with such lasting qualities that many people use them in lieu of the person's given name.
**And can I say one thing about this 'Nana' business? One day, I was driving across the Blue Bridge when I got a text from Jevon. It read, "can I call you nana?" and I immediately replied, "no." Cut to 20 minutes later, when I was inundated with 30 texts from various friends that read, "hi, nana.", and a few that said, "why did Jevon text me and ask me to text you, 'hi, nana'?" I still don't know how, or why that name caught on...
Jevin was Freshman Prince (I maintain that the only reason he won is because he had the band vote.. yeah, he played the saxophone) and during lunch he'd hit us with his backpack and say, "Split for the Prince!" Years later, he was up for the title of Senior Prom King... but he lost. And I was partnered with him, so, you could say I hold a bit of a grudge. We lost, mostly, I think, because he'd forgone the band vote. Also, I don't remember him hitting us with his backpack as much that time around.
In addition to being smart, and nice, Jevin was quite ambitious. For as long as he could remember, he wanted a Ford Mustang. So he devised a way to get one... oh, did you think that I was going to tell you a story of how he saved money from his after-school job for a down payment? No. Jevon's discretionary income went exclusively to Jordan shorts and E-C-K.
His plan to get a Mustang was as follows: he'd drive down Kellogg (or was it Edison?), and as he neared 10th, he'd put on his blinker. But he wouldn't turn on 10th, he'd turn into a driveway right before it- slamming on his brakes to do so, thereby surprising the car behind him. Ideally, the driver wouldn't be able to react fast enough, and when their car impacted his, the 'Rolla would be left in such disrepair that it would be deemed, 'totaled', and Jevin... poor, sweet, victim-of-a-careless-driver, Jevin, would get a new car.
He was a very enterprising young fellow, methinks.
He was pushing ABA out of the frame, all the while looking quite innocent.
I drove up to Pullman with Jevin the week before his freshman year, to help him unpack some random stuff that wouldn't fit in his car. Probably a lava lamp or two from Spencer's. As we walked down the hall, we could hear (and feel) the sounds of what I can only assume was the 'Liz 5' cd. "I think my neighbors might be kind of hood..." he said. A little while later after he'd wandered the hall, he joined me in his and Mark's dorm room, looking a bit worried. "So, everyone's either a thug or a gamer..." (I wonder who he could have been referring to, Justin and Seany...)
Through out college, J became a more intense version of the boy I knew back home. Instead of lying to his parents about CD's I made, he lied to his friends about my supposed addiction to methamphetamines and my many abortions (still, I maintain... I've never done meth, and I've never aborted anything other than a computer program gone awry). He also told everyone that Big Ash ate an entire fridge once, so I'm glad I wasn't alone in my struggles to overcome the rumors he spun.
Throwing his pants down. Just because.
It was senior year of college that he started telling people I was abusive. Our friends would get drunken, 2AM texts about how I pushed him, or hit him, or bit him. I did none of these things. Though, once I did push him down the hill behind Cougar Crest, and had he not been so spry (he's got rhythm, I'll be the first to admit...) he may have perished in the tumble.
There are a whole host of nice things that Jevon's done... like the sign he made to ask me to Homecoming, or the time he drove up to Pullman to help me move, or... well, maybe there are two nice things.
The fact is, Jevon has, for better or worse, been a part of my life for many years now. I've considered him a friend for longer than I haven't (does that make sense?), and I'm not really sure how things would be had I never met him. More peaceful, certainly. I wouldn't be so neurotic, for fear of someone outside my room with a chainsaw, or hiding in my bed dressed like a clown, or pretending to be me on AIM and telling everyone all my secrets...
But, I wouldn't be the same. That's an undeniable fact.
So, Jevin. I do love you, even though I mostly pretend otherwise. Happy (late) Birthday. Please don't call me. And quit sending me lewd photos.
